The meddling Taylor Swift cannot be escaped – even in sports. According to statistics for last year, Taylor Swift rang in $64 million. Entering MLB’s Opening Day 2015, that’s nearly as much as the Miami Marlins payroll ($68 mil).
In honor of the Pennsylvania-native’s financial and viral fortunes, below are Taylor Swift’s most highly viewed songs and who they’d represent.
“Bad Blood”
Organization: Ohio State vs. Michigan. The rivalry pre-dates to 1897 – where Michigan shutout Ohio State 34-0 in football. In fact, the rivalry is so widespread that Michigan premiered its lacrosse program this year to further stimulate their Big Ten rival.
Player: Steve Smith and the Carolina Panthers. After spending 13 seasons in Carolina, Smith wasn’t offered a roster spot. So in 2014, Baltimore snatched him off the waiver wire. But the situation didn’t dissolve with handshakes and hugs. In week 4 of the ’14 NFL season, Smith’s inhibitions were at an all-time low against Carolina – taunts, rants and all.
Steve Smith: “Ready for a soundbite?” "Take your a** back to Carolina. Make sure you mow my lawn while you’re out there."
— Andrew Siciliano (@AndrewSiciliano) October 1, 2014
Steve Smith’s Career w/Carolina: 836 rec., 12,584 rec. yards, 69 TDs
“Blank Space” (contracts)
Organization: Bayern Munich signing new manager, Pep Guardiola. Bayern Munich was willing to assure their chances of including Guardiola in their personnel – even if it meant handing Guardiola a blank check. Eventually, both parties settled for $24 million – $7 mil more than Chelsea’s $17 million dollar man, Jose Mourinho.
Player: JaMarcus Russell of the 2007 Oakland Raiders. Entering his rookie season in 2007, JaMarcus Russell was promised a 6-year/$60 million contract (with $26.5 mil guaranteed). Not satisfied, Russell demanded more in the $26.5 mil category. It took a majority of the season to reach agreement. And in the 2007 season, Russell started only four games.
“Shake It Off”
Organization: Philadelphia 76ers and their 18-64 season. Tarnished by an 0-17 start – and an 0-10 finish – the 2014-15 76ers were a cauldron of disoriented young talent. Equipped with only two players of league experience more than six years, the upcoming off-season will be ample time to restructure both play and management for 2015-16.
Player: QB Kyle Allen of Texas A&M. As a freshman, Kyle Allen didn’t have much time to mature in place of Kenny Hill. Although decent stats, the young man proved he was going through growing pains. With incoming freshman QB Kyler Murray, Allen has to take charge of his offense quick. Even though interceptions are his foe from last season, expect a more developed Allen this fall.
Kyle Allen’s ’14 Stats: 61.5% completion rate, 1,322 passing yards, 16 TD, 7 INT
“I Knew You Were Trouble”
Organization: The Miami Hurricanes (2002-10). Nevin Shapiro orchestrated a $930 million Ponzi scheme, distributing impermissible benefits to Miami (FL) football and basketball players between 2002 and 2010. Flying under the university’s radar, Shapiro acted as a booster – in 2008, he donated $50,000 to Miami’s basketball program and relished another $250,000 towards a student lounge.
Player: Sean Avery of the New York Rangers. Known for his poor sportsmanship and abrasive personality, Avery has no filter – whether it’s in media, personal relationships or verbally attacking opponents. During a pre-game press conference, Sean Avery referred to his exes as “sloppy seconds” and called out Martin Brodeur in a Twitter rant about Dancing with the Stars.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WA4iX5D9Z64
“We are Never Getting Back Together”
Organization: FIFA and Sepp Blatter. Enough said.
Player: Wes Welker and the New England Patriots. After playing six years for Bill Belichick, Welker departed the east coast in lieu of playing time in Denver – New England’s heated rival. The reason? Welker felt disrespected and useless in Belichick’s young-gun offense.
Welker’s Career Stats vs. NE: 11 rec., 110 yards, TD
“Style”
Organization: Kentucky Wildcats basketball team. Ever since Adolph Rupp erupted the program in the 1940s, Kentucky’s squadron of hoops talent always delivers. This past season, a debate ruptured on whether the Wildcats could out-perform the NBA’s 76ers. Regardless of media scrutiny – and an end to an undefeated season in the 2014 Final Four – the Wildcats basketball team will never go out of style.
UK Wildcats At-a-Glance: 19 active NBA players, 53 conference championships, 66 tourney appearances, 17 Final Fours, 8 national championships
Player: Cristiano Ronaldo of Real Madrid FC. Along with his own clothing line – CR7 recently double-teamed with a fashion company based out of Portugal, Sacoor Brothers Middle East. If his repeated appearances on the cover of GQ don’t strike him as a fashionista, then I don’t know what will.
“You Belong with Me”
Organization: The Golden State Warriors and Steve Kerr. After his first year as head coach, Steve Kerr locked in one of the best seasons in recent NBA history. Considering where the next four years take him and the organization, for now it’s safe to say these two belong together.
Player: Kevin Durant and the Washington Wizards. With his contract set to expire next season – and since his homecoming games in D.C. this season – Wizards fans are trying to court K.D. away from OKC.
Durant was born in D.C., then played high school ball at Oak Hill Academy (VA). But of course, Durant acknowledged to the press that he’s loyal to the city and team.
P.S. After listening to Taylor Swift for this article, I may need to schedule an appointment with an ear, nose and throat specialist after sacrificing my ears, drying my nose from crying after listening to her and coughing up whatever exorcism this might have done to my health.
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*Featured Photo (above) credit to USA TODAY Sports
