There’s crazy, and then there’s Martellus Bennett crazy. The Chicago Bears tight end had a big game in his team’s 22-20 win over the Oakland Raiders yesterday, leading the team with 11 receptions for 83 yards and a touchdown while the Monsters of the Midway got their first win of the season.
Speaking to reporters after the game, Bennett addressed a question about oft-criticized Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, who engineered the final drive that resulted in kicker Robbie Gould drilling the game-winning field goal. Bennett went so far as to compare Cutler to Jesus Christ in an epic quote, which was captured on Twitter thanks to Patrick Finley of the Chicago Sun-Times.
OK, Bennett. It’s clear you’ve been drinking too many of those protein shakes you order from Borneo. While Cutler’s performance yesterday was solid, he is nowhere in Jesus’s league. Last I checked, Cutler can’t heal injured teammates just by touching them, turn Gatorade into margaritas, or even bring his team a Super Bowl championship! The man is prone to interceptions, sacks, constantly has the “Who farted?” look on his face, and just plain sucks most of the time.
If this man were in the same league as Jesus, he’d at least be able to A) win games and championships and B) get Chicagoans to admit that Chicago-style pizza IS NOT FREAKIN’ PIZZA! JESUS (Ha!! See what I did there?)!
Anyway, I digress. Though Bennett and Cutler have a lot to be proud of after winning yesterday, there’s still a long road ahead before Cutler can be given such a comparison, and even then comparing him to someone on that level is iffy.
Maybe if the Bears can blow out the Kansas City Chiefs in Arrowhead Stadium next weekend, perhaps the conversation can be reopened.