Sorry, fellas, golf smokeshow Paige Spiranac is off the market

It’s alright to be upset, she was everybody’s else dream girl, too. A lot of longshot dreams died today.

Golfer and Instagram star Paige Spiranac officially got engaged today while in Dubai. After exploding into the public eye two years ago and becoming a social media startler, Spiranac has likely received hundreds of proposals from those hoping that a quick look at their profile would seal the deal with the bombshell.

Those efforts were for naught until Steve Tinoco, a former minor-league baseball player, threw his hat into the ring. The two were engaged to be married while on vacation and have since returned to the United States.

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For everyone not named Steve Tinoco, his failed baseball career is ammunition enough to get the hater-machine cranking at full speed. There are a bunch of dudes who played three weeks JV who are feeling mighty overlooked right now.

If I might quote the character Chubbs from the film Happy Gilmore: “It’s all in the hips, yeah.”

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Conor McGregor nominated for GQ’s Most Stylish Man of the Year
Conor McGregor nominated for GQ’s Most Stylish Man of the Year