Two Ex- Alabama College Athletes Decided It Would Be A Good Idea To Beat A Duck With Baseball Bat

(New York Post)– Jacob Thomas Frye and Thomas “Landon” Grant, both 19-year-old former baseball players at Central Alabama Community College in Alexander City, had attended a party on the evening of May 5, then went to an on-campus pond, where they grabbed one of the ducks, Detective Robert Oliver of the Alexander City police told AL.com.

They bludgeoned the bird with the baseball bat, then took it back to a nearby apartment, where they put it in a bag, Oliver said

Ah, Nothing quite says Cinco De Mayo in Alabama like two white kids pounding some Modelo’s with the boys then beating on something unlike themselves. To be completely honest, Frye and Grant most likely didn’t plan on going out and killing a duck. I’d like to think the conversation had before leaving the party went something along the lines of;

“Yo Jake let’s go get some swings in.”

“Yeah bro I’m down, but I only have a bat in my dorm, no ball.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

Hence the two dumbasses finding a duck and proceeding to beat it into Oblivion. The good news for them is they managed to have their ethics kick in at the right time and decided to take the wounded duck back to an apartment.  From there they would call one of their veterinary friends or even an animal hospital, right?

One of the students then decided to beat the duck, even more, to “put it out of its misery” [Oliver] added.

Oh… Well, okay. So now these kids have gone from plain old morons to morons living out their own hellish version of a duck dynasty episode. You really gotta feel for the duck here. He or She was probably having a great night, just swimming around the pond at the prestigious Central Alabama Community College, before having its life turned into the baseballs thrown in a Matt Harvey start.

In all seriousness, this absolutely stinks. I worked on a farm last year and found a new appreciation for animals than I previously had. Don’t get me wrong the thought of becoming Vegetarian, or Vegan makes me shudder, but that does not mean animals; specifically, ONE’S SWIMMING IN A GOD DAMN POND, don’t deserve the golden rule of respect as much as any person you’d meet.

I am giving these kids my very last benefit of the doubt because of the fact they at least managed to stop the duck from suffering and give it a proper burial.

The two ex-Trojans allegedly tossed the duck — still in the bag — into a wooded area.

A coach heard what was going on and found the animal gravely injured, but somehow still alive, Oliver told the outlet.

The wounded fowl was taken to a veterinarian, but it could not be saved and had to be euthanized.

You have got to be kidding me…

These kids somehow failed to do the one thing that would have at least been slightly ethical in putting the duck out of its misery. Not only that, but they then neglected to attempt to bury the body. Instead, deciding to fling it out of their sight faster than their Senate did to Women’s Rights.

Fyre and Grant have climbed the ranks of pure stupidity and horribleness that I am having a hard time coming up with an insult fitting enough for these dinks. Dink even sounds too forgiving.

Back to our sweet, web-footed price, this duck is a freaking warrior. Somehow it has survived becoming a live baseball, a second beating, and being stuffed into a bag. Just imagine how many humans can’t survive one of the three. Unfortunately, the duck could only hold on for so long and had to be euthanized.

Grant was arrested May 31 on a Class C felony charge but was released the same day after posting $5,000 bond. His court date is scheduled for late July.

Frye ultimately surrendered to police two weeks later, on Friday, authorities told the outlet.

Both face aggravated animal cruelty charges.

It took Fyre TWO WEEKS to confess to his crime? This kid man, oh my goodness. Maybe the name Fyre is just cursed for all of eternity. Never the less, this kid is a Class A imbecile.

I hope these two get at least more than a slap on the wrist. This headline just ruined my day.

#JusticeForDucky