Stephen Colbert Drops Hilarious Graduation Speech

Okay, we ALL know that Stephen Colbert is a funny guy. He wouldn’t be taking over for Dave Letterman if he wasn’t. But who knew that he would make even some of the most prestigious of college administrators chuckle? That is exactly what he did at Wake Forest’s spring graduation Tuesday morning.

Colbert was at the ceremony because he was being given an Honorary Doctorate of Humanities from the university, according to Bro Bible. It would be a shame if the Demon Deacons didn’t allow him to give some sort of speech. I can just bet that they didn’t expect for him to have the entire crowd in tears.

“I just spent many years learning to do one thing really well. I got so comfortable with that place, that role, those responsibilities, that it came to define how I saw myself; but now part of my life is over,” he said. “It’s time to say goodbye to the person we’ve become … and to make some crucial decisions in becoming who we’re going to be. For me, I’ll have to figure out how to do an hour-long show every night. And you at some point will have to sleep. I am told the Adderall wears off eventually.”

Colbert started his speech by congratulating his “fellow” graduates.

Most importantly, congratulations to you, the Class of 2015. You did it.

And you look amazing. Although it’s a little embarrassing you all showed up in the same outfit. Really. Even all the accessories are the same. Everyone has a black and gold tassel. Or, is it blue and white? Grandparents, just know this was the issue that divided a generation. You had the Vietnam War. Your grandchildren had an ambiguously colored Tumblr post.

Oh, Stephen, you’re so hip and funny. I love Letterman, but I personally can’t wait until we get a Top Ten Ways to Open a Pistachio from Colbert later this year.

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*Featured Photo (above) credit to USA TODAY Sports

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