The Gold Digger’s Index: Which major sports league has the best spouses?

It would seem that every woman experiences a “cleat chasing” stage at some point in her life. Whether it was that hottie MLB player on the Wheaties box you day-dreamed about at your third-grade desk, the star quarterback you cheered for devotedly on the sidelines under those Friday night lights in high school or maybe that cute basketball player you had to loan a pencil to every. single. day. your freshman year of college.

A majority of women ditch those dreams and start seeking out the lawyers, doctors and business men. But for those who see jersey chasing to be their end all be all, here’s a fairly simple formula that can lead your gold-digging heart in the right direction.

The “Gold Digger’s Index” is based on calculations of average career span, annual income and divorce rates for four extremely popular professional sports: NFL, NBA, MLB, and MLS.

After this, you may be switching up which venues you spend your weekends lurking.

Due to relatively high divorce rates among all professional athletes, none of these analyzed sports came even remotely close to batting a perfect score of 1,000. But, rest assured, if high levels of sweat, testosterone and cash are what do it for you, then here’s the best bang for the buck.

Typically a low scoring game, MLS gets a red card with a score of 8. The NFL fumbled at a score of 89, MLB slid into second at 199, and the NBA dominated the court with 300.

So, it would appear you should ditch the cleats all together if you’re going to properly “cleat chase” and start tip-toeing with the Jordans instead.

In conclusion, it should be noted once more that the index only applies to the average athlete per sport. Honey, if you can reel you in a Super Star you go right on ahead because 10 times out of 10 they’re off the index scale. MLS star Cristiano Ronaldo, for example, has zero divorces in his baggage and is currently sitting at a net worth of $280 million. And with a healthy career of 13 years and counting, you can only expect that value to rise.

Someone like him could surely satisfy any needs you may have…and BONUS ROUND, he’s strikingly good looking to top it all off!

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Moritz Boehringer wants ‘to be the Dirk Nowitzki of the NFL’
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