PSA For All Jersey Chasers

*Disclaimer: If you are a jersey, you can’t be a jersey chaser. It’s like an unwritten rule that all NARPS should be aware of.

They are everywhere. At every university. They flock to the football team at the bars after a win (or even a loss depending on how thirsty one may be). They transfer to the baseball team in the spring. And they dress like a slightly classier hooker from the local strip joint.

Yes, a jersey chaser is a real thing. These girls will do anything to grab the attention of the hot commodity quarterback or starting point guard on the basketball team. All just because he puts on a uniform for the school; it makes him hotter than he really is. Johnny Manziel is a perfect example, he’s a hard five at BEST and I think I’m being generous.

These girls will not stop until they are noticed and feel accomplished enough for having a one-night stand with a star athlete. You are not special. There have been plenty just like you.

From an outside athlete’s perspective, you look thirsty and pathetic. Thriving for attention isn’t cute, especially for someone who is just better known on campus. Male athletes are well aware of this as well. They know you are easy and that’s all they want.

Saying, “I slept with [enter highly respected athlete name here]” isn’t an accomplishment, especially since you are number eighty on the list or in certain cases the 80th click. Yes, I know of athletes who use a clicker to keep track of the number of people he or she has slept with.

Call me biased, but I don’t blame the athletes. If you are going to dangle bacon in front of my face, I will attack, bite and destroy it with no second thoughts. Women are the same way when it comes to male athletes. Seduce and tempt him, he’ll bite. No questions asked. But just because we take advantage of our opportunities with cleat chasers we are the ones called the “whore” or “slut”.

Cleat chasers are also talked about with fellow athletes. We sit around and talk about you all. How big her ass is, if she’s putting out or my personal favorite- how she was in bed. It becomes every player’s business at that point. Locker room talk is just as real as a jersey chaser. Being an eskimo brother is nothing to frown upon. So going back to my previous analogy, if there is enough bacon, I’m willing to share!

If you enjoy your name being followed by the words “Whore” or “Slut”, please continue doing you. But know at the end of the day, none of those athletes will ever want you for the long run…. they want you just for that quick easy touchdown.

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