Jim Harbaugh On Team Skins at Satellite Camp…OH GOD!

For those of you devoted readers who have sensitive stomachs, I’d advise you to stop reading right now. Those of you who have eaten in the past hour would also be wise to turn away. I’m not one to discourage people from reading but…yeah, this is one of those days.

Why, you may ask? Well, at his satellite camp, Michigan Wolverines head coach Jim Harbaugh decided to be on Team Skins.

Yes, it’s exactly as bad as it sounds.

This is your last chance.

TURN BACK!! NOW!!

No?

Well, OK then.

You asked for it.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Harbaugh on Team Skins. pic.twitter.com/olKXcDlM6P

— John Talty (@JTalty) June 5, 2015

Still not enough? Don’t worry! I’m not one to offer an appetizer and entreé without letting y’all have some dessert!

Nants ingonyama bagithi baba
Sithi uhhmm ingonyama
Ingonyama pic.twitter.com/2BHe8T1WL0

— Josh Sánchez (@jnsanchez) June 5, 2015

Now, assuming that everyone reading this had the same reaction as I did, y’all are probably doing this at your respective computers now, hopefully to the side:

Everyone compose themselves? Yes? Good!

I simply don’t know where to begin with these pictures. Dad-bod is one thing, but Harbaugh just raised the bar to “Pasty Middle-aged White Dude-bod.” I mean, GAAAH!

Granted, if he were wearing regular shorts or gym trunks, that’d be different. The male members of my clan and I are known to rock the shorts and engage in a little Shirts vs. Skins basketball action at family barbecues over the summer. It’s just an acceptable tradition that we all live with and have fun doing!

But WALMART KHAKIS??? SERIOUSLY?! Where in the Rules of the Universe does it say parading around shirtless in those is OK under ANY circumstances?

If my old man did that in front of the family, my mom would probably either yell at him to put a shirt on, call the nuthouse, or both.

There’s only one word to describe Harbaugh’s fashion choice: UNACCEPTABLE.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go make myself a sandwich full of meat, cheese and condiments, drink a Miller Lite, and then rifle through the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue as I try to forget ever seeing these pictures.

I advise everyone who has gotten this far to do the same.

Cheers!

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*Featured Photo (above) credit to USA TODAY Sports